Gay Dating Profiles
Sam Dumas knew he was gay as a young boy, and while he didn’t have an issue with his sexuality, his schoolmates did. He was bullied in middle school, and he kept to himself in high school. Once he arrived at college, he finally felt free to begin living openly and authentically.
In his twenties, Dumas worked in New York City for the massive publisher Conde Nast. He worked in cultivating experiences and events for W and Vanity Fair.
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After several years, the founder and CEO of dating app Bumble approached Dumas. She had invested in Chappy, a gay dating app that started in the UK, and wanted to make it Bumble’s gay dating app the US. Chappy launched in 2017, and not long after, she approached Dumas and asked him to join the team and help it stand out from the typical gay dating apps. Dumas jumped at the challenge and became Head of Brand at Chappy in early 2018.
Dumas believes that stereotyping in the gay community is damaging, and that many of the popular gay dating apps further perpetuate these harmful stereotypes. Chappy prides itself on being inclusive and respectful, and it works to avoid focusing on people as objects. Users can indicate whether they’re looking for something casual or committed, and there’s even a new feature in the app that helps you find friends in the community.
Dumas, now 29, still lives in New York City and is working hard to grow Chappy and set it apart from other gay dating apps. Read on to learn about his experience coming out as gay and why he’s passionate about working on a gay dating app that focuses on inclusivity and avoiding stereotypes.
Profiles in Pride: What was your journey to realizing you were gay and coming out? Were there any challenges you faced along the way?
Sam Dumas: The realization that I was gay and my own self acceptance was not the difficult part. It was the culture around me, the largely heteronormative society I grew up in, that brought along the challenges.
When I was a kid, I didn’t really think much about my gayness. And when I did, it was random and brief. The thought would pop up spontaneously and usually with little significance, which I think, in hindsight, was because I was too young to apply any real logic or understanding to those situations.
It wasn’t until middle school, when the bullying began, that I was met with the challenge of having to face what this meant, whether I was ready or not. I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, but middle school was the first acknowledgement that others did and that I would need to navigate through it. So, like so many other kids in my position, I walked through — albeit quietly and to myself all through high school — waiting for the time when I could “reintroduce” myself to an entirely new group of people.
My first semester at college marked the end of my hiding and the start of my ownership and public acknowledgement of this piece of my identity. Over the course of that first year, I was in the process of understanding how to navigate this new territory and find confidence in saying the words, “I’m gay.”
PIP: How did your career lead you from the world of magazines to a gay dating app?
SD: I was approached by Bumble’s founder and CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd, just as I was coming up on four years at Vanity Fair. I was ready to take on a new role and, though I didn’t know where exactly, I knew I wanted something that felt inherently more purposeful.
Whitney and I spoke about a tech startup called Chappy. Similar to its sister app, Bumble, Chappy is a mission-based social connection app that is dedicated to providing its users a safe, judgement-free space for meaningful connections. For me, it was a no-brainer. This was an opportunity that seemed tailor-made for my life and my desire to build a purposeful brand for a community that I belonged to.
PIP: What made you want to join Chappy? Why did you see a need for it in the gay world?
SD: Since Chappy launched in 2017, we’ve been on a mission to provide a better dating experience for our community. What predominately existed at that time — and still does today, unfortunately — were online interactions full of discrimination, prejudice, and lack of respect and inclusivity.
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Harmful stereotypes were consistently reinforced through shaming, harassment, and blatant discrimination, and it was time for that to change. Gay men deserve a safer, more respectful way to expand their social circles, while feeling empowered to be themselves.
In June of this year, we added our friend finding feature to the existing dating platform. There are unique pressures associated with romantic connections, and for many young gay men it’s important to find a sense of community and belonging with less pressure. By adding a friend-finding capability, we have created the opportunity to make positive change in all aspects of a gay man’s life.
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PIP: From your perspective, why is stereotyping is harmful to the gay community?
SD: Stereotyping, in any context or community, is damaging because it generalizes and waters down the very uniqueness that we should be celebrating. The pathway towards accepting who you are, not who you are told to be, can often be threatened by harmful stereotypes and reinforced cultural norms that have been used as negative labelling aimed at separating people and/or groups.
PIP: How does Chappy differ from Grindr and Tinder? Why would someone use Chappy versus those established gay dating apps?
SD: Chappy has always stood out from other apps because we have a keen focus on providing gay men an online space where access, control, and choice, along with kindness, respect, and safety, override the negativity so often found on other platforms.
Unlike other gay dating apps, we want to send the message to our users that they are more than a label, so we specifically designed features that challenge the status quo of online gay dating. This has been a part of our core foundation and principles since day one.
At Chappy, we care about the community and we want our users to enjoy our app without feeling alienated or threatened. Many other gay dating apps continue to reactively respond to change. At Chappy, we are always proactively anticipating the needs of our community.
PIP: How do you think Chappy has the potential to benefit or help the gay community?
SD: Since day one, Chappy has been a proud supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and we have done so with a vast and consistent effort to be as inclusive as possible.
Whether it’s ensuring that our internal team members and field ambassadors are representative of the many sub-communities within the gay universe, working with large organizations such as GLAAD and The Trevor Project, or partnering with up-and-coming artists to highlight their work and shed light on LGBTQ+ talent, it’s important to us to create equality amongst all people so that they feel empowered to make the connections they deserve.
By setting the tone for positive connections both within and outside of the app, we are working towards creating a safer, more accountable community.
PIP: Is Chappy geared just toward cis men, or is it inclusive of anyone who is male-identified?
SD: To our transgender, intersex, non-binary, and gender non-conforming family: we support you, and we welcome you to use our platform. Chappy believes in empowering all users and creating a safe space for all communities. We aim to create a stronger sense of community and belonging for all users regardless of their identity.
Keep up with Sam on Instagram @samgdumas.
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If you’ve been online dating for any amount of time, you’ve seen bad profiles. They’re either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you’re in stitches. We’ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some of the funniest dating profiles.
1. The Truth
You’re smart. This ain’t your first rodeo. And You’re not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here’s a refreshing perspective—the truth.
I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I’m an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication’s a foundation for every relationship. So if we’re on the same wavelength, read on…
2. Exaggeration
I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ—twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.
…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.
3. Blurbs
“He’s a beast…in the kitchen” – Food & Wine
“Our go-to guy for fashion advice” – GQ
“I wish he was my personal trainer.” – The Hulk
“God made him so firemen would have a hero” – every fireman ever
“I’m so glad she swiped right” – your mom
What else do you need to know?
4. J/K!
Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term “collector” to “hoarder.” Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.
And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don’t feel guilty when I grab ice cream.
Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?
5. A Few of My Favorite Things
I like…
The Frito smell of dog paws.
When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say “I was just thinking about you!”
The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they’re tired.
That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.
6. Goblin
Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.
7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family
I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.
8. Alpha Male
I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.
9. Christmas Tree
My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.
10. Best Travel Story
I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.
11. Not Down to Earth
I’m not down to earth at al. If you don’t reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.
12. Definitely Not a Murderer
My self-summary
I’m a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I’m looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.
What I’m doing with my life
I’ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.
13. A Terrible Liar
My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I’m a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I’m incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I’m pretty easygoing. 😉
What I’m doing with my life
When I’m not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it’s in Spanish or Swahili…so I can’t understand a word they’re saying.
14. The Best Thing on the Internet
About Me
Ladies, your time has come. I’m serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?
If we’re being honest, I’m probably not really the “best thing” ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don’t have Jon Snow’s flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.
Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉
As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I’ve since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay’s potato chips.
I’m a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn’t stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I’m always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.
As for the woman I’d like to meet… Your friends would describe you as “intelligent,” “ambitious,” and “kleptomaniacal”… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, “couch potato” isn’t one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don’t have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn’t hurt.
15. Cute and Smart
Respiratory Therapy Student
Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.
16. Mat
I’m just hoping you don’t walk all over me 😉
17. Forever Single
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Will I be single all my life
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