I keep seeing something in the outer circles of my circles. When you help run summer camps, one of the blessings is getting go to be around college age people.

1. Christian Young Adults Groups
2. Christian Dating Books For Young Adults
3. Christian Young Adult Events
4. Christian Young Adults Ministry

I love seeing young adults finding their strengths and growing in maturity. It’s a delight to be able to invest in them. A strange thing I’ve noticed is that they get younger and younger looking every year. Weird.

This group is for Christian Young Adults and Singles (20s-30s) who are interested in fun activities (game nights, bowling, movies, roller skating, six flags, etc.) We will also try to do one volunteer. Christian Dating For Free, CDFF, is the largest and best free Christian dating site for Christian singles in the world. Our service features both iOS and Android free dating apps as well as a desktop and mobile website. Unlike paid sites, it is 100% free to communicate with every single Christian.

Ok, kidding aside… I have noticed something concerning regarding Christians and sex. It breaks my heart, confuses me, and even angers me all at the same time.

I remember being a young Christian and sorting out behaviors. I also remember truly not understanding some things, Biblically. I even remember hearing some people teach anti-Biblical things and being confused.

So… let me be clear about something:

Christians should not have sex outside of marriage. Yup, seriously. No, I’m not kidding. And no, that idea is not just for Biblical times. It’s for today.

We may think this is just for dating teens, but it’s not. I am actually more concerned about the young adults who are deceived into thinking their sexual activity isn’t a big deal.

I know that our culture is immersed in sex. I know that dating without sex is difficult. I know that just about everybody is doing it.

None of those excuse sex before marriage.

Not even if two people are in love.

Not even if two people are grown adults.

Not even if two people are marrying each other soon.

Sex is for marriage. Period.

It is counter cultural, I know that. Living a life for Christ is counter-cultural.

I have a dear friend who is in her thirties and unmarried. She has never had sex. Why? Because she is a Christian. She loves the LORD and so she honors His ways.

She went to the doctor once and the nurse practitioner didn’t believe her when she said she had never had sex and was not sexually active, that she was saving herself for marriage. The nurse was shocked.

She practically insisted my friend take the birth control offered. She just about said aloud that my friend was lying. Even when told that her faith called her to abstinence, the nurse refused to believe.

Christian Young Adults Groups

I’ve seen the shock too. As you know, I did not save sex for marriage. Once I gave my life to the LORD, it didn’t take too long for me to understand that sex was no longer an activity on the approved list. I became what was called a secondary virgin.

Paul and I didn’t have sex together before we married (though we were not honoring, which is another topic and post).

Fast forward to us being engaged: After I bought my wedding dress, I would go to the bridal shop every few days. I’d put on my beloved dress and sashay around in it. True story.

During one sashay visit, somehow the fact came out that Paul and I were going to enjoy a true wedding night (first time sex together, though maybe a true wedding night would best describe two virgins). I remember jaws dropping. None of the women, young and old, could believe that we had dated for almost three years and hadn’t had sex.

That’s when I experienced seeing shock the first time. At least it was at a secular store. When I saw it in church, I was a bit perturbed.

I started visiting churches right after becoming a Christian. As was a junior in college, so I went to the young adults class. One day, they were discussing premarital sex.

Actually, it was like they were deciding what the answer was. Those fifteen people were making the call. And they decided that the instructions for sex only inside a marital covenant didn’t apply to the 1990s. When I raised my hand and asked, “Have you all just decided that the Bible is outdated?” Shocked faces, but silence.

I know that some young women really do believe this lie, since they might even be hearing it at church!

There are many passages that address the truth that sex outside of covenant is sexual immorality.

Acts 15:20;1 Corinthians 5:1;6:13,18;10:8;2 Corinthians 12:21;Galatians 5:19;Ephesians 5:3;Colossians 3:5;1 Thessalonians 4:3;Jude

I find it interesting that several of these passages call the Christian to be unlike the pagans. We are called to be different, for Him.

As a Christian, we should view sex the way God views it.

It is natural for us to want to rationalize or justify our behavior, even our sin. We do it all the time, sadly. I know that we are not perfect. We are made perfect in Christ. What a delight grace it!

Romans 6:1-2 addresses this grace and call to holiness.

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”

I pray that if you are sinning in this area, that you talk to The God of Grace. Ask for forgiveness. Walk in repentance. Seek the grace to stand firm in honoring God with your body in this area.

Be set apart, Christians!

Editor’s Note: Throughout the years, TheReb has published thousands of articles, each challenging and encouraging Rebelutionaries to do hard things and seek God. But among these posts, some have especially resonated with you, our readers. So over the next few weeks and months, we’re bringing back these classics, reposting our most popular and well-read articles every Thursday. May they encourage and remind you of God’s unchanging truth!

Christian Dating Books For Young Adults

You think about it a lot. You wonder who it will be. You wish it could happen soon but it completely freaks you out. So let’s talk about it: dating.

Marriage is exciting. It’s wonderful, beautiful, and to be desired. It’s also hard, excruciating, joyful, hurtful, and incredibly fulfilling — at least this is what married people tell me, and from watching them, I believe it.

But before anyone can get married they have to go through the process of getting to know a person and pursuing love for them (at least if you practice the Western tradition of pursuing marriage).

Some people call this dating, other people call it courting — there are likely countless terms you could use for the process. In this article I am going to call it “dating” and define it as “the process of finding a spouse.”

I do not claim to be an expert: I realize that many varying opinions about dating float around Christian circles jumping over each other, getting mixed together, and consuming some people. I do not intend to defend a certain set of rules, or refute any. Neither will I pretend like I have the best advice, since I am not even married. Married people have the best dating advice since they have already done it!

My goal is to simply pass on, from one teen to another, some thoughts I have developed from my observations, personal experience, and advice from others.

So here goes:

1. You Don’t Need to Date

Your quality and purpose of life is not determined by whether or not you date or get married.

Always pursue God and health (spiritual, emotional, and physical) and you will be fine. If you meet someone who you want to do life with or that God is laying on your heart to pursue romantically, then you will still be fine.

Either way, the quality of your life is what you make it.

2. Be Mature in All Your Relationships

Feel free to interact with those of the opposite gender. It is not inappropriate; talking to someone does not mean you have a “crush on them” nor does it mean they have one on you.

Do not flirt: you are a grown up. You do not need to flirt in order to have fun with those of the other sex. Avoid doing anything you will regret once you are married.

One question you could ask yourself is “If I were married, would I mind my spouse knowing ‘that’ about me? And if I wouldn’t, then why am I doing it?”

Do not be self-conscious, but self-evaluate. In other words, do not focus on how you are being perceived, but instead focus on how you are making other people feel.

3. Honor Your Parents

They really do know more. Not only do they know more about life, dating, and men and women; but they know you pretty good, too.

Whether it is when, who, or how, honor what they think. Honor does not always mean doing exactly what they want, although it does many times. Rather, honor is placing high value on something. In this case, honoring your parents means valuing their opinions, advice, and rules.

Remember, more than likely they have dated at least once before. Furthermore, the honor you show your parents will set a precedent for how your kids honor you.

4. Do Not Stalk!

Stalking breeds infatuation and is disrespectful. Since “what you feed is what will grow” stalking will likely nurture a fantasy of familiarity and romance in your own head, while it may never have even crossed the other person’s mind.

Also, it is just down-right disrespectful. There is a reason we call stalkers “creepy.” Your crush is not an object for you to drool over, nor do you have to know everything about them or always be around them.

Christian Young Adult Events

If you want to get to know someone, be bold about it. Talk and interact with them, face-to-face if you can, but give them plenty of room to breathe. If they do not respond in like manner, back off.
If you want to get to know someone, be bold about it. Talk and interact with them, face-to-face if you can, but give them plenty of room to breathe. If they do not respond in like manner, back off. Click To Tweet

5. But Don’t Be Afraid To Date

Marriage is a worthy pursuit. Unless you have been given the gift of celibacy (which is probably not the case, since you decided to read an article about dating), marriage is for you.

The purpose of dating is to see if two people are a match. Do not be afraid if it does not work out, you have still fulfilled your purpose in dating.

6. Remember Everyone’s Story Is Different

There are no formulas for dating. Just because it happened a certain way for your older siblings or friends does not mean it will be that way for you.

For instance, some people fall in love immediately and they have a smooth dating experience. For other people, although God may be leading them, the feelings for each other take time to develop.

Some people date for many years, others date for months, or even weeks. Like any relationship, dating and marriage should not be put into a box.

7. Know the Person Before You Date

Although it is not crucial to be good friends before you start dating, the better you know someone the, well, better.

8. Celebrate the Differences

There will be differences, but they do not have to break the relationship. Enjoy them; laugh at them; be okay with learning. Differences are beautiful.

9. Take Dating Seriously

The reason you are dating is not just to have fun. Pursue the other person and treat them with honor. If you cannot do that, then you should not be dating: it is not fair to either of you. Remember, you are trying to figure out if the two of you are a marriageable match.

10. Lighten Up!

Have some fun! Your relationship is not so important that you cannot enjoy yourselves!

Although “to have fun” is not the purpose of dating, dating should be fun. Make memories! Laugh! Do romantic things, do normal things, do things together, and do things with your friends! Marriage will be one of the hardest things you do, so set a joyful precedent.

11. Always Pursue Spiritual Health First

I mentioned it before, but it’s worth repeating: always pursue health. It will benefit all of your relationships, ministry, career, and potential marriage.

If you want a healthy spouse, you need to be a healthy person right now. Any kind of health, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical, takes time and hard work. Start today.

Christian Young Adults Ministry

Originally Published on 9/9/2014